


The race against the sands of time

by kittio98



Category: Brave (2012), Frozen (2013), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Awkward Conversations, F/M, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love Letters, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Name-Calling, Secret Relationships, Secrets, Sexual Content, Slow Build, swap lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-05-11 09:28:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5622142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittio98/pseuds/kittio98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two bittersweet forbidden loves bloom in the shadow of two warring kingdoms. After Elsa and Anna's parents are found on an island outside of Arendelle they come back to reveal that Elsa is promised to man by the name of Jack Frost. Little do her parents know but Elsa's heart is already in the hands of a viking prince by the name of Hiccup.<br/>Merida has always felt that she lived in the shadow of he cousins but when she finds her heart doesn't belong with her fiance, Hiccup, but with Elsa's; she starts to wonder if she was really ever in a shadow at all.<br/>Can Elsa and Merida figure out this awkward situation before Anna's wedding and their engagements are made public? Will they be able to fallow their hearts or will they have to give up on their happiness for the sake of peace?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Elsa

 

 _Why can’t I have the man I love? Why does he have to live in a whole different world than I do? Why do our families have to fight and be at war about everything? Why couldn’t I just be a normal girl?_ My mind was teeming with thoughts on things I had no control over, what else was new? I often found myself thinking about the boy I had met at Anna’s birthday ball. The tall one with the brown hair that kind of flopped all over, like it had a mind of its own.

It had been two years since we had found our parents and I had become queen. Even as queen I still couldn’t make decisions on my own. I had to think of the outcomes of things not just how they would affect me, but also my people. I had to put them first. That was why I was stuck with the all-knowing, devious, Jack Frost.

He made me want to drive a fork into my eye. The worst part was I couldn’t even freeze him to get time alone. He could control ice just as well as I could, if not better. He drove me up the wall with his snarky comments and the way he always smiled like he knew something I didn’t. He was always trying to tell me how to run my kingdom and when I disagreed with him he would throw a fit. My parents over saw all of that. They saw what they wanted to. They saw Jack as knowing how to work with the same power as I had. In their eyes he was perfect for me in a chilling relationship.

“Elsa?” Anna was knocking on my door like normal and I ran a hand through my hair in frustration at all the work I had yet to do.

“Anna I don’t…”

“Do you wanna build a snow man?” She asked and I couldn’t help but smile at the sing song way she said those few words.

Anna always knew when to come cheer me up. She was always there when I needed someone to listen to me. Ever since I had shut her out all those years ago and she had literally given her life for me we had gone back to being closer than ever. But even with that Anna never opened the door to my room unless I invited her in, no matter what.

“Elsa, you have been in that room all day. Come on, take a break.” She pleaded and I knew she was right.

I sighed and got to my feet. I walked over to the door and opened it for my sister. Her smile was wide as she grabbed my arm and pulled me out of my room. I couldn’t help but laugh as she dragged me down the hall and into the grand ballroom. She shoved me in first and checked the hall before closing the doors behind us.

“Anna, what is this all about?” I asked turning to her as a huge smile broke across her face.

“It’s going to happen! Dad finely blessed it…” She said in a rush of air.

“You pulled me out of me room to tell me?” I asked because I wanted to be sure that we were both talking the same thing, but I knew I had let some of my own excitement leak into my voice.

“Kritoff and I can finely get married!” She said and I looked around the room.

There were papers scattered across the floor. Pictures of dresses, cakes, and decorations were tacked up everywhere. I knew she had been working on planning and had let me work but she couldn’t contain her joy any longer.

“Anna this is amazing news! This is just simply…”

“What’s so amazing?” Jack’s snarky voice cut in and I had to stop myself from turning on him and demanding he leave the room at once because it was none of his business.

“Just girl talk… Nothing to worry yourself with.” I said in as pleasant a tone as I could muster.

“Elsa can I talk with you alone for a moment please?” He asked and I felt myself stiffen.

“Maybe later. Right now Anna has called me out of my cave to help her with something.” I said looking at my sister for help.

For once she got the hint and grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him out of the room and closed the door behind him, this time turning the lock as well. I let out a huge sigh and sank to the floor. Anna walked over to me and sat beside me.

“Things still frosty?” She asked and we both giggled.

“I don’t know how they don’t see it. I swear he is just another Hans. But I swear if I had to choose between them I would choose Hans.” I said and we both burst into laughter.

The truth was we both knew I would rather die than marry either of them. So Jack could control ice too, big deal. Anna’s fiancé had a reindeer for a best friend. I smiled as Anna whipped the tears from her eyes from laughing so hard. In truth I was going to miss this. Just the two of us, talking and laughing. Soon she was going to be a married woman and I was going to be her sad, lonely, older, sister.

“Elsa, Anna, can I come in?” We both shot up at the sound of our mother’s voice.

It was still weird to hear her call to us after so many years of not having her around. Anna got to the door first and opened it for her. Our mother stood there a smile on her face and an envelope in her hand. Her face was unreadable as she walked into the room and closed the door behind her.

“I have news from your cousin Merida.” She said taking in the room and smiling at us before sitting on the floor.

“Oh I simply love Merida. She’s always so crazy.” Anna said laughing as she flopped to the floor next to our mother.

I couldn’t help but notice how much Anna really did look like her. Everyone said she looked more like our dad but I could only see our mother in her. Sure Anna had dad’s eyes but she had mom’s face. She was stunningly beautiful like our mother too. I drank in the sight, it had been far too long since we had had our mother around.

“Merida will be coming up for the summer…” She said and I instinctively went on the defensive.

“Why wasn’t I informed of this sooner?” I asked looking at her and noticing just how old and tired she was looking.

“Elsa the news just came today. All I did was open the letter, but not your part of it. Merida seems to have to tell you quite a bit in your part. She sent a second envelope for you, it’s quite thick.” She said passing the envelope to me.

I took it and noticed that Merida had gone all out to be sure no one but me opened it, by putting a wax seal on the back. I knew what it was before I even opened it. My heart was racing as I tucked the letter close to my chest and looked at Anna. I was dying to escape to my room and read my letter but I knew I wasn’t allowed to leave quite yet.

“Elsa, aren’t you going to open your letter?” Our mother asked and I felt myself ice over.

I noticed that happened a lot when I got nervous or had a secret I had to keep, I simply froze. I knew if I opened the letter then and there all hell would break lose. I had told Merida about my feeling when I had discovered them but this was far worse than that had been. If my mother were to find out about my feelings, all hell would break loose.

“I’ll open it later. For now we have plans to make Anna.” I said slipping the envelope into a fold in my dress.

“Oh yeah… That reminds me Elsa. Will you… Wil you be my maid of honor?” Anna asked her face bright red.

“Anna! Of course I will!” I said and she beamed.

“Oh I’m so excited! What color do you think we should have the dress be? I was leaning towards a purple or a pink but blue always looks so nice one you, than there is the problem of how we are going to actually make all of this work and tie it all together. There’s the matter of the cake and oh we just have to invite Rapunzel and Flynn!” Anna was rambling which was what I wanted.

“Now Anna we have to really plan this all out… We don’t want to just jump into anything.” Our mother said and I knew the letter had been forgotten.

“But this is Anna’s day. It has to be as big and amazing as she is.” I said smiling as Anna grabbed a bunch of papers off the floor.

“Exactly! Okay so I have the dress I want, well its two dresses that I want to combine to make one perfect dress. Then there are a few brides maids dress’s I just can’t decide which one would be best. Oh and I have to ask Merida and Rapunzel if they will be brides maids of course than there is the matter of having dad walk me down the aisle. Oh there is so much to plan!” She said tossing the papers in the air and sinking to the floor.

“Don’t worry Anna. We can plan this all out. Why don’t you come up to my room and we can work on it… With no interruptions.”  I said as the door was flung open and in walked Kristoff and Jack.

“Well I need to talk with Elsa. So if I can’t talk with Elsa you can’t talk with Anna, since they seem to be doing something together.” Jack said his voice annoyed.

“Well there is a difference between Anna and Elsa… Anna will make time for me, because she loves me. Do you even know Elsa?” Kristoff shot back as they walked farther into the room.

“Do you know Anna?”

“Well duh you dumb idiot. Why do you think I’m going to marry her?”

“Maybe you like her body… I don’t know stupid fool.”

“Will you two just shut up?” I spat making them look around the room till they found us.

“He started it!” Kristoff said pointing at Jack.

“As if! Don’t pin this on me reindeer boy!” Jack spat back pointing a finger at Kristoff.

“Reindeer boy? What the hell does that even mean Frost Head?”

“Who you callin’ Frost Head, Troll-face?”

“Troll-face? Can you be original Iceman?”

“Iceman? Well isn’t that just sweet aren’t you the one who sells ice?”

“Shut up Frosty.”

“Come on Anna… We can make it out the back way.” I said picking up some papers and grabbing Anna’s hand.

“Frosty! I ain’t no snow man!”

“Well I couldn’t tell. Sorry it’s an easy mistake to make.”

“Why you…” The door closed before we could catch the last of their dumb argument.

Anna and I walked as fast as we could, without running, to my room. Once we were safely behind my solid door we burst out into laughter.

“Frosty?”

“Reindeer boy?”

We laughed so hard that we were on the floor in tears. We had no idea what they were going at it for, but it was always funny to hear the new nicknames they found for each other. It was a thing they did, every day. The boys didn’t get along all that well, well not at all really. They got along when they needed to, but that was about it.

“They sure did out do themselves this time around.” Anna said as she got up from the floor and looked around my room.

“Yeah… I think I’m going to use that one… Frosty, it has a nice ring to it and works very well for him wouldn’t you think?” I asked looking at my sister as she looked around my room.

“I don’t think he liked it though Elsa.” Anna said and I sighed.

I hadn’t told her I wasn’t going through with this marriage. I hadn’t told anyone, Merida had figured it out when she had come for that week for Anna’s birthday. Merida was like that though. She could smell and unhappy relationship from miles away, yet she was as stuck as I was.

“Oh Merida…” I said remembering the letter I had tucked away.

“You’re going to open that letter right? Will you share it with me? I’ve been dying to know what’s been going on with you two. You two have been keeping something from me, I just know it.” Anna said and I couldn’t help but smile.

She used to be so dense and kind of an air head, but now she was more alert. Times had changed her, and so had Kristoff. It was amazing watching her turn from a little girl who had fallen for that two timing Hans into this new older Anna. She really had come a long way.

“Okay fine. I’ll read it to you.” I said as I popped the seal on the envelop, this was going to be a long rest of the evening.


	2. Merida

 

**_My Dearest Cousin Elsa,_ **

**_Word sure does spread fast. I can’t believe Anna is going to finely marry that hunk Kristoff, she’s so lucky. She can marry for love, but we can’t. I trust you won’t let anyone see this, unless you have told Anna about your fluttering heart. It would seem I am coming to visit this summer, and I am bringing him along with me. I trust Jack will be there, if he can still remember me. I can’t believe it’s been so long since I was last out to see you and Anna. Anna’s birthday was forever ago!_ **

**_I really must inform you of what has been going on here. My parents have been pushing the matter of marriage with Hiccup. I have been doing my best to fend them off but they keep pushing it.  My mum is really the one who wants this engagement to be public as soon as possible. Hiccup has been pushing it off because he has to help train more dragons, but he can’t put it off forever._ **

**_I worry for you Elsa. You are already queen, and after finding your parents you are under a lot of pressure. Are you sure you still want to fallow your heart on this one? I know I sound crazy and it probably the lack of sleep talking here when I say this, but I know how you feel and you know how I feel why don’t we just be honest with our parents?_ **

**_Hiccup thinks that if we just make it clear what we feel that maybe they will be swayed to side with us. I am not so sure my mum and dad will be convinced even if I show affection for Jack, or am honest with how I feel for him. He is your fiancé not mine. I wish we could work this all out. I wish so very much that if we are honest we will get a happy ending, but I fear it won’t come to that._ **

**_I’m sure your mother told you that I will be there in a few days. I just figured this couldn’t wait until then. I wanted you to know I was bringing Hiccup with, for you. He always talks about you, you know. He likes you so much. I hope we can get this sorted out so you can be happy._ **

**_Love your cousin,_ **

**_Merida_ **

****

                I closed the loose papers into my desk and sighed. Elsa was the one who had it the worst out of both of us. I could live with Hiccup as a husband, but Elsa. She couldn’t even stand Jack, let alone give him her heart.

“Elsa if only you were me and I was you.” I said racking a hand through my crazy red hair.

I knew deep down in my heart that this would end up kind of like my hair, a big ball of fuzzy curls tangled and a big mess. Hiccup was head over heels for Elsa, and I was the same for Jack. This was all a twisted mess and we had only met the other partner once. There was no way this was going to work out if we didn’t push it to work. With Elsa I knew it wasn’t fully possible because she wouldn’t push it if it meant causing trouble for her people.

_What are we going to do Elsa? What are we going to do?_

I sighed and got up from my desk. It was late. I had to make sure no one would barge in on me while I was writing my privet letter to Elsa. If Harris, Hubert, or Hamish had gotten their little hands on my letter all hell would break loose, I couldn’t afford for that to happen right now. I crawled back into my bed and snuggled deep under the covers.

I thought of the first time I had met Jack. It had been Anna’s birthday party and like Anna it had been a huge celebration. Tones of people showed up, and not just because the old king and queen had returned but because it was Anna. Everyone loved Anna.

Elsa had pulled me aside to ask me to run interference between her and her fiancé. I had been confused at the time but I understood once I met him, that she didn’t love him. She was always one to make plans for herself, she was her own person. But once I saw Jack and started talking with him I found that I liked him.

He was easy to talk to and could make me laugh till I snorted. He made me feel like I was more than just a princess, that I was my own person. I had won one fight with my parents on the subject of marriage, but that had been short lived. I had told Jack all about it and he had told me how he didn’t even look at Elsa in that way, he just couldn’t.

We had talked all night and into the morning hours as well. He had been so incredible. We had promised to talk and keep in touch but as time went on we weren’t able to pass as many letters, for fear of being caught. Elsa had never been so brave with Hiccup to pass letters, but sometimes he flew out to see her in secret.

In truth we all knew the other was the one we wanted and loved, but there was no way we could have them. We were playing a big game of fox and hunter. We were the foxes running for our lives and meeting in secret and our parents were the hunters, forcing us into things. It was an ongoing cycle. Something we couldn’t change no matter how hard we tried. It was the constant in our equation called life.

I missed Jack more than I would ever say in words when we were apart. The few times I had convinced him to come visit had been fun but a pain too. We had to stay out of site and meet out in the woods; he never got to hold me for as long as I had hoped he would or talk either.

_Jack where are you when I need you most? I thought you said you would always be there when I reached out with my mind… Why don’t you answer me anymore?_ I thought tears burning my eyes.

I sat there in my dark room and felt my heart sink. The tears started to fall on their own and I felt more alone than I had ever felt before. Being alone without Jack was like living with one leg, Hiccup did it with difficulty but he did it. It was like being half of myself.

“Merida… I did say that. And I meant it. So here I am.” Jack’s voice was soft and I felt a cool chill fill my room with his words.

“I know I’m only dreaming.” I said sniffling and swallowing a sob.

“No you’re not. Merida I had to get all the way over here… Look at me.” He said and I lifted my head slightly to see him next to my bed.

“Jack…”

“Merida, are you still awake?” My mum’s voice asked from the other side of my door.

I held my breath and wondered if I had woken her or if she had just been awake walking the halls like she did at night. Jack stood frozen to the spot; literally ice was surrounding his bare feet. He was always bare foot. It was cute in a I don’t care if my feet freeze kind of way.

“I guess I was hearing things.” My mum said and I heard her walk away.

I let out a breath and looked over at Jack. He seemed to know when I needed him most. He had a knack for showing up right after I write that I wonder if he’ll remember me he shows up. He knew how to make a girl feel special and important. He showed up when I least expected it and always made it seem like he was never gone to begin with.

“What are you doing here?” I asked in a whisper, since I knew my mum was up.

“How could I stay away? I haven’t been able to get away from Elsa and her crazy family, not that Elsa really kept me. She can’t stand me. Won’t even look twice at me if I walk by. Not that I care anyway.” He said leaning over and kissing my forehead gently.

“Jack how long can you stay?” I asked after a minute of simply staying close to him.

“Not long… But I hear you are coming for the summer. Is that true?” He asked his eyes a light with wonder.

“Yes… I will be leaving here in a few days. I feel bad for Elsa really… She has to act like she is okay with all of this when she loves Hiccup so much.” I said sighing because I knew how she felt, but she had such strength to go months without seeing or hearing from him.

She had to just have faith that he still loved her. I envied her and how she could hold her head up when she had such a burden to carry. How she could be herself and still be a great queen. She was everything I wanted to be and more.

“Don’t envy here Merida. She may be able to do a lot, but she can’t act on her own. She has a fear inside of her that she won’t share with anyone. It tares her apart inside.” Jack said somehow knowing what I was thinking, like he always did.

“We all have our scars and burdens to carry. She is just better than most.” I said looking up into Jacks eyes.

“I will give you that one. But she’s no fun. She has no idea what the word fun means.” He said and we both laughed.

Our laughter died away and we sat there in silence. We both knew he had to go. We could both feel the sadness of the situation at hand. I wished that I could have more time with him, if only a little bit more. I knew it was selfish of me to want so much of his time, I was just a girl in love after all.

“Merida… I hate to leave but…”

“I know…” I said letting myself enjoy his presence a little longer.

“I’ll see you in a few days though.” He said kissing the top of my head and I wondered why he didn’t just kiss me.

He was always such a proper gentlemen. Never doing something he feared I wouldn’t like. I wanted him to kiss me, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. I had to be a lady, and a lady didn’t go around asking to be kissed. A lady waited for the right time, so I was going to wait for him. I would wait forever if I had to.

“I’ll see you soon.” He said his eyes locked with mine.

All I could do was nod. Every time he left I felt like I was losing something amazing, like I was losing a piece of myself. I guess in a way I was. He was my everything. I just wished he could actually be that for me.

I watched as he slid out the window and into the night, leaving a trail of ice on the window pain as he left. I climbed out of my bed and went over to the window to close it and smiled. Jack had made his frost into a heart and in the middle of the heart was a small envelope. I plucked it from the ice and held it close to my chest. I let the cold seep into my cloths and shivered. I looked out the window at the clear sky and drew in a deep breath of cool air.

“Oh Jack… You always surprise me.” I said closing the window and climbing back into bed with his note.

I opened it slowly. A light dusting of snow feel from the seal as I popped it and slid out the thine piece of paper. I carefully unfolded the paper and smiled at the words on the paper.

                **_Beloved Merida,_**

**_I can’t wait till you come and stay with us. I wanted to talk with Elsa and see if she would put our rooms close together but you know how she is in avoiding me. I understand why. Her mother has been stalking her it would seem. Her father has been ill since they were found. I don’t think he will make it much longer, I feel like Elsa knows that as well. She hasn’t seen Hiccup in a while and I was wondering if everything was okay between them. I was going to ask you all of this but I knew I wouldn’t have time so I wrote it all down instead. I wish I could have stayed longer._ **

**_I wish I could have held you and gotten lost in your amazing eyes. You are so much stronger than I am. I don’t know how you go without seeing me. I creep out and see you all the time; you don’t see me though because you are always busy. I long to hold you. To simply be close to you. And I hope one say we will be together and not have to hide. You are my whole world, you are my everything. When you hurt I know it. I can feel it. Because I love you. I love you so much._ **

**_I count the days till I can sneak into your room and hold you till you fall asleep or talk till the morning light. I have many things planed for us to do, granted you will have to bring Hiccup and Elsa will have to go as well but we can sneak away. I will see you again very soon._ **

**_I love you Merida._ **

 

                He didn’t sign it and I knew why, if anyone found this I would be in bigger trouble it was best if they didn’t know who it was from. But I loved how he was willing to risk it and tell me all of this. All his worries and how much he loved me. I longed for all of that too. I knew he came and saw me, I could feel him, even if I didn’t see him I knew he was there.

I curled back up under my blankets and held his note close to my chest. Only a few days till I could see him and be close to him. I could make it.


	3. Elsa

I had been right in guessing it would have been a long evening. I didn’t guess it was going to be a long night as well. Anna had pelted me with questions after I read her the letter. She had decided to camp out in my room instead of going back to her own and when Kristoff came to the door she had told him it was a “girl thing” and she would talk to him later. I had been shocked at how she had handled things. If she had come to me with that kind of news I would have had a freezing episode.

                “So Hiccup huh?” She asked as we sat in my huge bed looking at the last of the paperwork I had to do.

                “Yup…”

                “You two look cute together if I can remember him properly.” She said a silly smile on her face.

                “You think?”

                “Oh I don’t think… I know!”

                With that we both burst into hysteric giggles. I was glad I had Anna to talk to. She made things easier to deal with. She made the unfairness of my love life bearable.  In a way she understood what it felt like to have to wait for someone you truly loved till it was the right time. She had been doing that with Kristoff ever since they had met. I felt guilty for not telling Anna everything. But I knew she could be a bit of a blabber mouth at times. Plus I wasn’t ready to share everything with anyone, not even Merida knew it all.

                “Well I best go see what Kristoff needed.” She said once we had calmed down.

                “That would be in your best interest at the moment… I have to finish all this paper work. Thanks to you I didn’t get any of it done.” I said hitting her lightly with my stack of papers.

                “Ouch!” She squealed playfully before jumping off my bed and running out of my room.

                I sighed and shook my head. She was so crazy and full of life. I envied her at times for being born second. I wished I could be like her in so many ways. But for obvious reasons I couldn’t. I wasn’t convinced Anna could rule our people. She was too kind, too much of a child.

                “Knock, knock.” I sighed at Jack’s voice.

                “Yes?”

                “Can we talk?”

                “I suppose I can’t escape you forever… What is it Jack?” I asked sniffing the air and smelling an all too familiar sent.

                “What is the plan? I can’t keep faking this.” He said and I smiled.

                “You went to see her? How is she?” I asked turning to him a smile on my face.

                “She wants to know the same things I do… You have to have a plan.”

                “I hate to disappoint you Frosty but I don’t. My father isn’t well, I was planning to talk to him but I don’t want to endanger his health more. I’m at a loss.” I said running a hand over my thick braid pulling the tie out at the end and letting it unravel.

                “Hold on write this down, Elsa is at a loss.” Jake teased and I rolled my eyes.

                “Oh shut up.” I said walking to the door and leaving him in my room.

                To be honest I was jealous of Jake. He got to sneak out and go see Merida, while I had to wait till Hiccup was free and came to me. These days I didn’t see much of him. He was always off training dragons and I was busy ruling a kingdom. I was lonely, but there was no way I could ever love Jake the way everyone wanted me to. I saw him as more of an annoying brother rather than a potential lover. Even though I gave him the cold shoulder I didn’t hate him. Sure he got on my nerves, and I had to cover for him more so than I wished to, but he made Merida happy and I would do anything to make her happy. She was like another Anna to me, except Anna came first.

                I hadn’t really had a plan when I had walked out of my own room maybe that was why I was now up on the roof where Hiccup and I would meet. I sighed and sat on the sloping roof deep in thought. I knew we couldn’t keep on hiding these feelings forever, and if we did we would just end up unhappy and life would be Hell. My eyes burned as I tried to suppress the tears that I had been holding back for months.

                “Does the lady mind if I joined her?” I jumped at the voice and turned my head to see Hiccup carefully balancing on his one leg.

                “Hic-Hiccup?” I stammered swiping at the tears that were running down my face.

                “Oh Elsa… Come here.” Hiccup’s voice was soft and I couldn’t help but run to his arms, a very dangerous thing to do but I did it anyway.

                He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry. Everyone had been asking me what we were going to do, like I had all the answers. I was only one girl. Hiccup didn’t ask. He simply held me and kissed the top of my head lightly. It had been two months since I had been in his arms like this. I had snuck him into my room and he had stayed until four in the morning than had made his escape before anyone was really awake to notice.

                He was sweet like that. He didn’t tease me like Jake did and he didn’t expect anything from me like everyone else. He didn’t pry like Anna, he simply said that when I was ready I would talk about it; and I always did. He knew how to make me feel like I was important to him even if he was on some far off island that didn’t have a name. He often sent a dragon with a note for me and it would always make me smile.

                Now standing in his arms, on the roof, I noticed just how much I missed him when he was gone and how much I needed him. He made me feel like I could take on anything if he was by my side. I wondered if this was how Anna felt when she was with Kritoff.  I could feel Hiccup’s love for me filling me with a sense of belonging and an agony knowing it would only last so long.

                “What are you doing here?” I mumbled into his shoulder, I had managed to gain control of my voice.

                “I’m here for you.” He said pulling back just enough so I could see his green eyes.

                “In normal circumstances I would say that was sweet but you never come in the day… What’s going on?” I asked worry filling me all the way down to my toes.

                “Didn’t Merida tell you?” He asked a confused look on his face.

                “Tell me what?”

                “She convinced me to arrive before her since I was flying it and doesn’t feel like throwing up on the trip. She’s coming by boat.” He said and I instantly thought of her letter.

                I went over her words in my head but none of them had left any hint that he would be joining us before her. She was sneaky like that. I wasn’t sure how to feel about all of this. It was like she was trying her best to give me time with him, but I knew I wasn’t going to get much. I couldn’t help but smile anyway.

                “She’s one sly dog.” I said hugging Hiccup again this time burring my face in his shirt and in hailing deeply through my nose.

                “Agreed.” He said resting his head on mine and holding me tightly to him.

                He smelt like pines and dragon. I smiled as I closed my eyes. I had missed this strange sent. The mix of wilderness and beast made a sexy combination when placed on Hiccup. Hiccup was the first to pull back from this hug that was drawing out for what felt like forever, but in a good way. His eyes locked with mine and I wondered if he was going to make that move. The one I had been waiting for him to make for months.

                “You should go inside… I can play it like I just got here.” He said and I sighed.

                He was always thinking ahead, which is what I normally did but not when I was with him; I couldn’t. I knew he was right though. He was thinking of the bigger picture at the moment and I was thinking of this moment. I didn’t know when I would get another like this with him. My heart ached and a few snowflakes fell as I let my sad mood settle in.

                “Hey now Mrs. Flurries, don’t give me that sad look… We can meet up later.” He said and I smiled even though the snowflakes hadn’t stopped falling.

                “I will hold you to that.” I said as he leaned down and kissed my forehead before backing up to stand by Toothless.

                “You better.” He said and I giggled as I walked to the door and slipped inside.

                I assumed that Hiccup would fly down to the courtyard and come in the front gate like a normal guest would, and Toothless would stay in the stable with Sphen.  I walked down the halls trying to gain control of my feelings before I saw Hiccup again when I bumped into Kristoff.

                “Oh I’m so sorry Kristoff I didn’t see you there.” I said feeling lame for using that whole I didn’t see you there routine.

                “It’s okay. Are you okay Elsa?” He asked and I felt my body stiffen.

                “Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked icing over every part of my body in order to gain control.

                “You just look a little red faced is all.” He said and I knew why.

                I was blushing from the whole encounter with Hiccup. But there was no way I was telling that to Kristoff, no thank you. I smiled and tried to send some ice cold into my face but knew it wasn’t going to help anything. When you can’t tell the truth you lie.

                “Oh I just had a little bit of a spat with Jake is all and I got a little over mad. I was actually on my way to say sorry when I ran into you.” I said playing my cards like the queen I was.

                “Oh? Well tell Ice-Man I want my pickaxe back.” He said before walking past me.

                “Ice-Man? Where does he come up with these?” I asked myself on a snicker as I continued down the hall.

                I felt my heart leap into my throat when I heard Hiccup’s voice echoing down the hall towards me and smiled. I loved the sound of his voice and longed to hear it more. I heard Anna giggle and I smiled even wider.

                “Hey look its Elsa.” She said and I made a slicing motion at my throat, but she seemed not to notice.

                “Your highness I didn’t think I would see you so soon.” Hiccup said with a slight bow, his failed attempt to cover the sly smile that appeared on his face at the sight of me.

                “Likewise. Is Merida here as well?” I asked since Anna really didn’t need to know I had just seen him on the roof, or that I was on the roof at all.

                “No. She will be joining me in a few days though.” He said straightening and fixing his eyes on the floor.

                “Oh, well make yourself at home. Our home is your home.” I said smiling at Anna and nodding my head slightly to the left implying I wanted to talk with her.

                “I almost forgot, Kritoff needed me. Elsa will you finish showing Hiccup around?” She asked dashing off before I could answer her.

                Hiccup and I stood in an awkward silence for what felt like forever before he cleared his throat and smiled easily at me. My eyes darted around the hall to see if there was anyone near us to witness any of this crazy awkwardness. My eyes landed on a patch of ice by the window and I sighed. Plastering on a smile and I shifted my eyes from Hiccup to the patch of ice. He, unlike Anna, got the hint and smiled in a friendly way that didn’t imply anything but friendship. It hurt to see that he was so good at that.

                “What have you seen?” I asked and my heart panged as his eyes scanned my face.

                “Well she showed me everything up to this point, than she kind of just dumped me on you. Sorry about that.” Hiccup said his smile just as fake as mine.

                “Me too… I was hoping to talk to _my_ fiancé.” Jake said coming out of his hiding place.

                I shot him a look but his eyes were on Hiccup. I wondered why he was getting so protective when no one was around and I knew his heart really wasn’t in my hand like everyone had thought. Jakes eyes moved from Hiccup to me than to the passage behind me and I knew someone else was watching.

                “It’s so cute that you get jealous. Don’t worry I was just showing Hiccup around, if you don’t trust me you can join us.” I said my eyes hard as they locked with Jake’s but my voice was one of a flirting girl.

                “I wouldn’t mind if I did.” He said his eyes teasing me as he took my arm in his.

                “Then lets complete this tour shall we?” I asked feeling my heart die a little at the look in Hiccup’s eyes.

                I knew he wished it could be him who took my arm and guided me down the hall. Instead now he was acting as a third wheel, simply my cousin’s fiancé. He was my job at the moment and he knew it. As we walked past the hall I saw the bottom of my mother’s skirt disappearing into a nearby room. She was much like Anna in that way, running and hiding instead of getting caught by me. No one ever wanted to be caught by me, I couldn’t understand why. No one, that is, except Hiccup.

                Hiccup kept close to us, close behind us. His hand would brush my back if he decided that he wanted to point at something and ask about it, even though he had been down these halls before. Every time he touched me I felt a shock of longing seep into my whole being and I had to fight to not turn around and throw myself into his arms. I did risk a glance behind me at one point while tell him about a painting. His eyes met mine and I saw all the emotions I felt in them and a shiver ran through me.

                “Well this is your room. If you need anything at all I am down the hall to the left and Jake is down the hall to the right. Anna and Kristoff are on the floor above and my father and mother are on the floor below us. Merida will be in the room right across from you when she arrives.” I said smiling as Jake let go of my arm.

                “Thank you for that intel. I will keep it all in mind.” Hiccup said as Jake walked down the hall to his room, clearly bored with us.

                “Nine? You know where.” I said in a low whisper and a sly smile slid over Hiccups face.

                “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He said before going into his room and I walked to mine, I still had those papers to finish.

                That night couldn’t come fast enough for me. I wanted him sooner than nine but I knew it wasn’t a safe idea. I would be patient, but once he was here he was all mine. No limitations, no regrets, just me and him.


	4. Merida

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update life and writers block got in the way. I'm hoping to get on a better schedule and write more! Hope you enjoy!

The boat rocked from side to side on the calming waters. I was used to the seas, I even liked them. I wasn’t one for flying. I preferred to be stuck firmly to the ground. That was just one reason why it could never work with Hiccup and I. He loved the skies and would do anything to be in them. For him that was freedom, for me it was Hell.

                He had taken me flying once and that had been enough. I had hurled all over his back and Toothless hadn’t been too pleased about having someone throwing up the whole time. Heights didn’t bother me. It was the fact that there was nothing solid under my feet. There was nothing solid at all. That was what bugged me so much about flying.

                Hiccup said it was because I needed to be in control and when I was in the air I wasn’t. I knew he was right and that I liked to be in control of things, more than what was healthy. I fully blame my parents for that part of me. The fact that they won’t let me in control of anything in my life is what drives me to do things my way. That was part of the reason I fell in love with Jack. He did things his way. We were so alike it was crazy, he simply got me.

                “Soon enough I’ll be there.” I said under my breath.

                I had sent Hiccup ahead of me, since there was no way I was going to fly it with him and he wasn’t going to go on a boat with me. Besides that Elsa needed some alone time with him, I just hoped she got it. Unlike Jack and me, Elsa had to wait for months to even see Hiccup for five minutes. I couldn’t even dream of the heart ache she must feel.

                “Pst… Merida…” I glanced over my shoulder at the sound of the oh-so-familiar whisper.

                “Jack! What are you doing here?” I whispered back glancing around to be sure none of the crew had seen him.

                It was common knowledge that Jack didn’t fit in on the boat. He hadn’t been here at the start of our trip the crew would know. It wasn’t like he was trying to hide the fact that he was there, standing next to the mast wasn’t exactly hiding. Between his white hair and wooden staff he stood out enough.

                “Pffft… Don’t worry Merida.” Jack laughed stepping closer as a crew man walked up.

                “Are you alright Princess?” The man asked as Jack wrapped his arms around my middle.

                “Yes… Just a wee bit of sea sickness. It’s been a while since I was on a boat.” I lied smiling my always present smile.

                “Alright.” The man said before giving a slight bow and walking past.

                I had forgotten that Jack had the ability to be seen or not seen. He had been training on how to control that part of his powers and after a lot of work he could turn it off and on. He would only let select few people see him. I wished I could do that too, than I could hide away from all the stress of being a princess and having to fallow every little rule of royal life.

                “Let’s talk in privet.” Jack whispered in my ear and I felt a hot blush creep into my face.

                I nodded and fallowed him over to my cabin. I opened the door and walked in; I could feel Jack behind me. He closed the door softly and I couldn’t help but fling myself at him. He took in a sharp breath at the suddenness of the embrace but wrapped his arms around me as I buried my face in his chest.

                “Merida what’s wrong?” He asked and I couldn’t help but squeeze him a little tighter.

                “Before I left mum and dad were talking about announcing my engagement to Hiccup. They want it to be a public thing because they think that our people could use some good news. I just… How am I supposed to respond when my heart isn’t with Hiccup?” I mumbled into his shirt not having enough willpower or strength to look into his blue eyes when I said this.

                “Is that why I’m feeling this distressed I need you vibe from you?” He asked kissing the top of my head lightly as I snuggled deeper into his shirt.

                “I guess you could say that.” I sighed breathing in his sweet calming fragrance.

                The cabin fell silent. The only sound was from the crew outside and the sound of the ocean seeping in threw the small open window. Jack held me brushing his hand over my hair and resting his cheek on the top of my head. We simply stood there.

                “Merida I don’t have very long before I need to be back. I just wanted to know that you were okay.

                “I know… But could you just hold me a wee bit longer?” I asked closing my eyes and willing myself to relax.

                Jack didn’t respond he just kept on holding me. I knew he didn’t want to leave but if he wasn’t around in Arendelle people would start wondering about him. I wished and longed for the day when I could simply be with him and not have to hide it from the whole world. I wanted to be held in his arms when I had a rough day or simply have him sit next to me when I had to go out. I wanted to be with him, but the world seemed to be in our way.

                “Merida.”

                “I know.”

                “Cheer up you’ll be in Arendelle soon enough and I’ll great you there. No need to look so glum.” He said pulling away slightly to look at me.

                “Promise?” I asked looking into his big blue eyes.

                “I promise.” He said kissing my forehead before he walked right out through the side of the ship leaving me alone.

                I bit my bottom lip to stop it from trembling and hoped the tears wouldn’t fall. I failed and one after another they slipped down my cheeks. A silent river of pain and longing. I knew Jack would keep his promise and great me when I arrived but I also knew I wouldn’t get to be alone with him. Not when I had Hiccup there to be with and to keep up appearances.

                “If only.” I said under my breath, my voice quivering slightly as I composed myself.

 

                We arrived in Arendelle a two days after Jack had come to see me on the boat. He hadn’t come again even though I longed to see him. The second the boat pulled into the harbor I couldn’t help but smile. Anna stood on the docks a smile on her face. Hiccup stood on her right and Jack on her left. I couldn’t help but notice the way Hiccup was looking off into the distance like his mind was somewhere else and not the boat, but Jack’s eyes were fixed on me a sly smiled on his face.

                I was ready to get off the seas and stand on solid ground. I was tired of my world rocking back and forth. Anna turned to Jack and said something but I was too far away to hear her as I walked down onto the dock. A huge smile grew on Jack’s face as he nodded and started to walk towards me. I gave him a questioning look but he seemed to ignore it and just kept on walking.

                “Jack. It’s so nice to see you.” I said in a cheerful voice as he stopped in front of me.

                “Likewise. Elsa wanted me to give you this. She said she is sorry that she couldn’t come in person but will you see you at the castle to help you get all situated.” He said handing me a small envelope and I smiled when I saw my name on the front in his sloppy handwriting.

                “Oh. She’s a sneaky one.” I said as he offered his arm and I took it casually.

                We walked over to where Hiccup and Anna stood and I let go of Jack’s arm. My cousin enveloped me in a rather large hug. It was obvious that she wanted to bounce up and down like a small child but she was doing a good job of holding her composure while in public.

                “Thank you so much for coming!” She said letting go and smiling at me.

                “I wouldn’t miss this for the world! Where’s Elsa?” I asked glancing over at Hiccup as he sighed.

                “Elsa had to finish up some work and couldn’t make it.” Anna said and Hiccup sighed again.

                It seemed like every time Elsa’s name was spoken he sighed. It was comical yet cute at the same time. I knew how he felt. He wished for the same things that we all did, but our wish’s looked like they were far out of reach.

                “Oh bummer. I was really looking forwards to seeing Elsa.” I said and Hiccup sighed once again.

                “Hey contraction of diaphragm muscles could you stop sighing every time you hear her name.” Jack said and I slapped his arm.

                “Stop being so mean.” I said as Hiccup glared at him.

                “Go to Hell, oh wait you can’t your too cold for that.” Hiccup said extending his arm to me as Anna giggled.

                “Whatever Viking boy.” Jack said but he knew he had been beat.

                We all headed up to the castle Anna skipping ahead with Jack as he grumbled about something. I knew I had to tell Hiccup about what my parents were plotting at but his mind wasn’t in it. I held in the sigh that was forcing its way out of me when Hiccup stopped.

                “What’s wrong?” He asked catching me off guard.

                “What do you mean?”

                “You’re not yourself. I might not be head over heels for you but I know you pretty well.” He said looking into my eyes his light green eyes filled with concern.

                I bit my bottom lip and drew in a deep breath before I told him exactly what I had told Jack two days earlier. Hiccup had many good traits but listening and understanding things when it came to my parents wasn’t one of them. He got this look on his face, right before he opened his mouth to speak, that was a mix of anger and frustration. His face got all red all the way to the tops of his ears. It would have been cute if he didn’t look so freaking scary.

                “They can’t do that! This isn’t something that you or I want. Why can’t we just go up and tell them?” His voice was low but held more anger than I had ever heard in his voice before.

                “Hiccup just because you don’t have any parents doesn’t mean that I should go up to them and destroy the one thing they want to work out. If you haven’t noticed we are kind of waring kingdoms here. To tell them I don’t love you would be to tell them that I didn’t care if we were at war. I’d be saying I don’t care if I lose you dad in a battle. Do you want me to lose my parents too?” I asked feeling more angry than I should have but Hiccup was being so unreasonable.

                “Don’t you talk about my parents like that.” He said crossing his arms over his chest.

                “You know what Hiccup I’m just telling the truth. You don’t have parents. Maybe if you did you would have turned out a little bit differently.”

                “I have my mom.”

                “Pffft. Yeah like she counts. She was gone your whole life.”

                “Well you turned your mom into a bear so I don’t see much of a difference between us.”

                “Don’t lump me with you and your stupid dragon and messed up family. Unlike you my pet didn’t kill my dad.”

                “SHUT UP MERIDA!”

                I jumped back at his outburst. I knew I had gone too far but I was mad that he had suggested anything. I hadn’t told him because I wanted his opinion I had told him because I felt that he had a right to know. Looking into his eyes now all I saw was hurt and anger. Hurt that I had caused him. I couldn’t stand to look at him. So I ran.

                Hiccup didn’t call after me, which was good because I didn’t want him to. I burst into the castle and ran down the many halls till I came to an empty room. I flung myself through the door and closed it behind me pressing my back up against it as I sank to the floor. The tears had started about three doors down and now they were pouring out in shaking sobs. I rested my head against the door and closed my eyes. That wasn’t how I had envisioned things going down when I told him about my parents. Yet here I was sobbing because he had hurt me and I had hurt him and we were just like our parents.

                “Okay than crying girl… I don’t know what to do with this.” I snapped my eyes open and looked at where the voice had come from.

                Kristoff stood with a towel wrapped around his middle and a shocked look on his face. His blond hair was dripping wet and beads of water ran down his naked chest. I could see why Anna had fallen for him. He was pretty hot, in an I sell ice and have a pet reindeer for a friend kind of way. I couldn’t look away from his muscular body.

                “Merida… Is that you?” He asked taking a step towards me and suddenly I saw too much.

                His towel snagged on something, only God knows what. With that single step he was slipping. His whole body was showing to me for a split second before I squeezed my eyes closed. Next thing I know there is a heavy weight on my legs and a hand in my hair, pinning it to the door. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I just kept my eyes closed trying not to think of anything I had just seen.

                “Can we pretend this didn’t happen?” He asked his breath hot on my face.

                “Agreed.” I said not opening my eyes.

                Kristoff sighed and pushed himself up only pulling my hair slightly. I could hear him walking away but I didn’t dear open my eyes. I held my eyes closed for a good five minutes. I didn’t even open my eyes when he said it was okay to.

                “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to barge in on you I was just…” I let my words fall away and risked a glance at him.

                “Don’t. You needed somewhere to be alone and you thought no one was in here. It’s not your fault at all. I should have locked the door.” He said smiling at me from where he sat on the bed.

                “I’m sorry again… I’ll go.” I said getting to my feet and walking out of the room before he could say another word.

                As I closed the door behind me my eyes met with Anna’s. She had a confused look on her face like she wasn’t quite sure what she was seeing. She tilted her head to one side in a questioning manner but she didn’t say anything.

                “It’s not what you think Anna.” I blurted feeling like I needed to justify what I was doing walking out of her fiancé’s room.

                “What are you doing here?” She asked her gaze shifting to the door.

                “I… He… Hiccup and I had a fight a huge fight and I said some things and he said some things and I got mad and hurt and ran away and I wanted a place to be alone and I thought no one was in there so I ran in and I didn’t mean to see anything but I did and I’m sorry but nothing happened this was never supposed to happen.” I said in one long breath and Anna just looked at me.

                “I’m so lost. Can you say it one more time a bit slower?” She asked and I sniffled.

                “Hiccup and I had a fight. We both said some mean things and I ran away because I didn’t want him to see me cry. I didn’t know where to go so I just ran down halls until I couldn’t hold the tears in anymore and this door was the only one that wasn’t locked so I ran in and Kristoff was in there and he was all wet… Nothing happened though.” I said as tears stung my eyes once again.

                “I believe you. I’m sorry about everything…. Wait you said he was all wet?” Anna asked a devious look in her eyes.

                “Yeah kind of I guess…” I said feeling my cheeks turn pink.

                “Let me show you to your room and you can tell me everything.” Anna said taking my hand and practically dragging me away.

                I wasn’t sure if she meant everything I’d seen or everything in general. I wasn’t sure how much Anna knew but by the way she was acting I could guess she knew more than she was letting on. I sniffled a few more times before I fully gained control of myself. Today had been a whirlwind of annoying and maybe it was from all the crying but I was exhausted. I was glad when we reached a door and Anna pushed me in, but didn’t fallow.

                “I forgot I have to do something… Get some rest okay. We can talk later.” She said and I was slightly shocked.

                She hugged me and in that moment I knew we wouldn’t talk about it because she had forgiven me. Two years ago Anna would have freaked out a lot more than she was right now. She would have demanded an answer and thought the worst had happened when nothing had. You could see just how much she had grown. I wondered if I would be like her after I actually got to be with the man I loved, or if I would stay the way I was and never be with Jack.

                Those thoughts haunted me as I climbed into the bed, not bothering to change, and pulled the blankets over myself. I closed my eyes and felt a few hot tears trickle down the sides of my face. I cried softly until my whole body was numb and the world around me simply faded into nothingness.


	5. Elsa

 

Merida was here, yet I hadn’t seen or heard from her. Anna had told me she had sent her to bed after a misunderstanding and that she was exhausted form the trip. I wanted to believe my sister in everything she said but something about all of this felt off. Hiccup was nowhere to be found so I couldn’t ask him about it and Jack was as in the dark as I was. He had gone to talk to her but had come back right away saying she was asleep.

                I glanced at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time. I was worried about Merida and I was worried about Hiccup too. I had gone out to the stable to see if he was just out there with Toothless but they were both gone. I had thought maybe he had taken him out for his daily ride but it had been hours. They were always back in an half hour sometimes even an hour not four. Anna said they had had a fight of some kind but didn’t know the details.

                I felt like a terrible person because when my cousin needed me most I was tied up in a meeting about which countries had good products to offer and who didn’t. I was stuck talking about things I didn’t even want to talk about. I spent half of the meeting thinking about if I would get away with freezing the water glasses on the table or not. I decided not to find out because my mother was there and she was in a no nonsense kind of mode. The meeting went longer than it really needed too and because of that I wasn’t able to save my dear cousin from anything.

                That was why I was walking around with a cloud of snow falling over me much like the one I had given to Olaf. I made my way to my room since it was well past midnight but just as I passed Hiccup’s door I couldn’t help but stop. I reached a hand out and knocked lightly but there was no sound from inside the room. I considered waking Jack and having him go in there and see if Hiccup was there but I didn’t want to test my luck with that. I sighed and walked to my own room.

                “I haven’t seen him Elsa.” Jack’s voice behind me made me jump.

                “Just as well I haven’t seen Merida.” I said biting my bottom lip as I turned to look at him.

                “I went to go see her again… She was crying in her sleep. I don’t understand she was fine when she got off the boat. What happened in the five minutes I was away? Is this because I walked away from her?” Jack asked leaning on his rather tall staff and looking down at the floor.

                “Jack this isn’t your fault, you couldn’t have done anything and you know it. Just go and hold her. She’d like that.” I said feeling a twinge of jealousy as he nodded and walked off.

                I turned away from my door and walked up the steps. I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight I already knew that. I was too worried about the people I loved. I needed some fresh air. I needed to be out of the castle for a while. I needed to leave but not actually leave. So I headed up to the roof.

                I opened the door and breathed in the sweet, still, night air. I walked out onto the roof and sat down right in the middle. I could see everything from up here. I had once been afraid of coming up here because I was told I would fall, but now I didn’t care. This was my spot to be free. My little place away from all the drama of being queen. My peace of mind and place I didn’t have to be anyone but just plain old Elsa.

                “Hiccup where are you?” I asked as I laid back and closed my eyes.

                It felt like he had just left. It felt like he had never been here, or like when he came and we met in secret. Two days ago we were fooling around and having fun, but now he was gone. It was like it was all a dream. A really good dream that I was starting to wake up from.

                I sighed and opened my eyes. The stars twinkled in the sky above me. They were all bright and reminded me of the sparkles on Anna’s wedding dress. She had been so happy to pick the fabric the other day and when she had showed it to me I had told her it would look amazing on her. She had decided to go with a light gold dress with an over layer of clear silver sparkled fabric. She didn’t want to wear a white dress even though our mother told her she should. Anna was different and she liked being that way.

                “I think when I get married I’ll wear a light blue dress or maybe I’ll go with white.” I said smiling at the thought of getting married to Hiccup.

                I closed my eyes again and envisioned our wedding. Merida and Jack would be there too. Maybe it could be a double wedding. I didn’t want it to be a huge wedding but I was queen so it would have to be somewhat big. My mind willed with all the things I would love at our wedding, it was teeming with ideas. But all those ideas started to fade to blackness as sleep tugged at me.

                I tried hard not to fall asleep but I couldn’t help it. I had come up to the roof hoping to be relaxed and I was. I was so relaxed that I was slipping. My eyes snapped open as the sensation of falling snapped me out of the dazzling prospect of sleep. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. My brain was turned off. I couldn’t freeze a slide to stop myself from hitting the ground I couldn’t do anything.

                That was when a large black thing came hurling at me. I squeezed my eyes shut as I hit something. But as soon as I had hit it I was lifted back up into the air. My whole body was trembling as I opened my eyes and looked right into Hiccup’s. Toothless had swooped down to save me with Hiccup on his back. Six hours he had been gone, but he came back at just the right time.

                We landed on the roof and Hiccup helped me down off of Toothless’ back. I grabbed on to him as a sob racked my body. I was still trembling and Hiccup held on to me as my knees gave out. He gently helped me sit on the roof and ran a hand over my hair, pulling it out of its perfect bun.

                “Elsa what on earth were you doing?” He asked his voice full of concern.

                “I-I was…” My voice broke into yet another sob and I buried my face in his leather riding shirt.

                “Elsa… It’s okay your safe now. I’m here.” He said pulling away just enough so he could look into my eyes.

                “But you were gone. Merida won’t come out of her room. Jack thinks it’s all his fault. I was stuck in a meeting and don’t know what’s going on and I almost died because my mind isn’t in the now.” I said gaining control of my voice.

                “I’m sorry. It’s my fault. Merida told me what her parents had planned and… I lost it. I yelled at her because she was angry about what I had said. She does have a point that we can’t just tell her parents about our not real relationship. It would ruin them.” He said his voice low and sad as he stroked my head.

                “But we all can’t stay like this either.” I said pulling back so I could look into his eyes.

                We didn’t say anything after that. We simply just looked at each other holding onto the little bit of peace and freedom we had. It had been a long time since we had been like this. There was so much going on but we were alone. We had found a place to just be at peace and together.

                “Elsa, you should go back inside.” He said and I felt my heart fall.

                All I wanted was to be in his arms. To be weak for a few minutes instead of being the queen everyone wanted me to be. I wanted to argue with him but he had already let go of me and was climbing back onto Toothless’ back. I took a step away from him my heart feeling like it was shattering into a million little pieces.

                “I don’t…”

                “Elsa, I’ll meet you in your room. It’s cold out here. And Toothless wants to sleep.” He said smiling at me but my heart still hurt.

                “Okay.” I said walking back into the castle.

                Once the door was shut behind me the tears started to slip down my cheeks a cool wind blew my hair around, causing the snow that was falling around me to swirl. Why did it always hurt so much when Hiccup did that? He wasn’t pushing me away he was simply trying to be sweet. But in his attempts to be sweet it felt like he was stabbing my heart a million times over with needles. Then again maybe it was just me over reacting and being sleep deprived. There were a million and one reasons for this feeling.

                I drew in a deep breath and headed for my room. The one good thing that came from all of this was that Hiccup was back safe and I could now sleep if I really wanted to. I was still worried about Merida but I knew she would be okay. If what Hiccup has said was the truth than she would be fine by tomorrow. She was a tough girl.

                I slipped into my room and ran my fingers through my hair as I made my way to my bed. It had been a long time since I had actually slept in my own bed. I had done a lot of sleeping at my desk as I planned out things for my kingdom and my people. Too many late nights and not enough sleep.

                A light knock on my door five minutes later made my heart race. I walked over to the door and pulled it open slowly. My heart fell when I saw who it was.

                “Mother? What is it?” I asked looking at my mother’s worried face.

                “It’s your father.” She said and immediately I pulled on a robe and fallowed her down the hall back to their room, all thoughts of meeting Hiccup gone.

                No words were exchanged when we entered the room. Anna was already there sitting next to our father holding his hand gently in hers. She looked so lost. For a split second I saw the old Anna. The one who was so lost and desperate for love that she would have married Hans. She looked like such a small child sitting there. My heart broke when her eyes met mine.

                “Elsa…” She said her voice cracked and her eyes shimmered with tears.

                “Oh Anna.” I said swiftly sweeping to my sisters side to wrap her in my arms.

                She sobbed against my shoulder as I looked at our fathers pale face. He looked as if he was sleeping but his chest wasn’t rising and falling like it should have been. His lips were a strange blue-purple color. I knew he was dead. It felt twice as painful as it did the first time we had thought we had lost them. Because now I was looking at his body and knowing I had lost him again, but this time he wasn’t going to be able to come back.

 

 


	6. Merida

It was tragic to wake to the sound of sorrow. Elsa had locked herself away in her room leaving Anna to wallow on her own. I understood why Elsa had; she didn’t want to hurt anyone. When she got sad like this she lost control of herself. I had walked past her door and I could hear her muffled sobs on the other side. It broke my heart. She was such a strong queen but when it came to losing people she loved she showed she was just a girl.

                Hiccup had tried to get her to come out of her room but she simply wasn’t going for it. Nothing he said held any sort of comfort for her at this time. What she needed was to be in his arms but we all knew that wasn’t going to happen.

                Hiccup and I weren’t talking all that much but we were acting like everything was fine because Elsa needed us to. Anna had curled up in one of the many rooms and for a while she had the door blocked, but Kristoff had convinced her to let him in and she was now sleeping, with her head in his lap. I had decided it would be best to be with her because Elsa wasn’t letting anyone in. Jack had tried to get in but she had booted him out faster than he had been able to get in.

                “Merida how are you holding up?” Kristoff asked and I smiled at him.

                “Better than they are I suppose. He was my uncle but we weren’t close.” I said looking at Anna as another tear slid down her cheek.

                Kristoff bent over her and kissed her head gently. He was so sweet to her. If I was honest I was jealous of my young cousin. Sure Kristoff wasn’t all that smart but he was good looking and kind, and those two things were all Anna really needed. He cared about her too. More than he would ever admit to anyone. She was his heart and soul.

                “I’m going to go check on Elsa.” Hiccup said from his spot next to me.

                I nodded and Kristoff gave him a raised eyebrow look but kept his mouth shut. Jack had been outside of Elsa’s door all day trying to get her to let him in but she wouldn’t. I knew what Kristoff was thinking. If Jack couldn’t why would Hiccup be able to? It was a good thing he didn’t know.

                The day was long and slow and full of lots of crying. Anna slept most of the day away on Kristoff’s lap waking every so often to cry a little more, and the boys spent the day trying to comfort the ice queen as she tried to freeze herself away. I got fed up of all the crying and sadness that I left the castle to go shooting. It was the one thing I could do that didn’t make me want to scream.

                I passed Elsa’s door on the way out and found that Jack was still there but Hiccup wasn’t. I gave him a questioning look since I couldn’t very well ask him if Hiccup was in the room with Elsa because people were running around. Jack shook his head and shrugged his shoulders looking at the door with concern on his face.

                The thing about Jack is that he might act like he hates Elsa but in truth he really does care for her. Sure he doesn’t love her, but he does care for her. He cares for a lot of people, they just don’t see it. He was the reason that Elsa and Anna’s parents made it home. He was only engaged to Elsa out of gratitude. I could tell that the death of their father was hitting him hard.

                “Jack walk with me?” I called out to him.

                When he looked at me his eyes glistened. That look made my heart ache for him. I wanted nothing more than to grab him and wrap him in my arms telling him everything would be okay and having it be true. But I would be lying to him if I did that and that was one thing I would never do to him. He glanced back at the door but I wasn’t going to let him wallow in worry over her because I knew Elsa would come out of this okay.

                “Come on.” I said hooking my arm through his and pulling him away from the door.

                “Merida….” Jack protested but I cut him off, there was no way I was listening to his lame-ass excuse.

                “Jack you need this. Elsa will be fine. She is a strong woman. Give her a little space and some time. Worrying about her like this will only make you sick and drive you mad.” I said as we walked out the front doors of the castle.

                My trip to go shooting turned into a long stroll around town and into the woods. We both needed the fresh air and the time away from the drama in the castle. Death always brought confusion and sadness and those two things didn’t go well with Jack of me. Walking around gave us time alone to talk or simply just be together.

                “Where did Hiccup go?” I asked after about twenty minutes of silence and a lot of walking.

                “He didn’t say. He got her to open the door and he slipped her some note and then he was gone.” Jack said and I smiled.

                “I don’t think Elsa is even in her room still if he slipped her a note.” I said laughing a little and Jack looked at me confused.

                “What’s that supposed to mean?”

                “It means he smuggled her out of the castle and you were standing outside of an empty room. I bet Toothless carried her away somewhere. Or maybe she is still in the room and he just passed her a note. Who knows?” I said smiling at Jack as we walked along the harbor.

                “Would he do that? Wisk her away?” He asked and I shrugged.

                “I don’t know. He can be quite a strange one that Hiccup.” I said as we rounded the last dock and turned back to the castle.

                “I just hope Elsa will be okay.”

                “She will be. She still has her mum.” I said but we both knew her mother wasn’t doing all that well either.

                It was a wonder she was still able to be up and about. Having been shipwrecked and not having good food or water for a long time had really wrecked them both. It was a wonder they had made it back alive. Everyone knew it was a miracle that they had lived to tell of their tail but they also knew it would be a deeper cut when they passed away for real. Everyone was devastated by the loss. Because they didn’t just lose their old king and queen once, but they were going to lose them twice.

                As we wound our way back to the castle we found ourselves in a large crowd in the square. Elsa had emerged from her room, or wherever she had been, and was giving a speech about her father and the funeral and such. I couldn’t listen to her talk about him because it hurt me. I had said we weren’t close but I had been closer to him than I was to my aunt. If anyone was going to be okay with Elsa being in love with Hiccup it would have been him. Aunt Iduna wasn’t as understanding as Uncle Agnrr was. Telling them now about our love swap was going to be even harder.

                “Thank you all for your kind words and sympathies. I ask that you all come to the funeral tomorrow. He was a great king, a good father, and a kind man. Thank you.” Elsa was finishing her speech and the people were all crying.

                Elsa held her head up high as she walked back into the gates of the castle and back into the safety of her home. I knew the second those doors closed behind her she would be back in her room. I looked at Jack and we both took off running for her. It was probably what my mum would call being ‘unladylike’ but I was never one to be a lady anyway.

                “Elsa…” Jack said her name and she picked up the pace.

                She wouldn’t run from us. She couldn’t, not with her people watching her and expecting her to be strong in this time of pain. She wasn’t allowed to feel the sorrow as hard as they felt it. Sure it had been her father but it had been their former king who had passed on. She was now the pinnacle of strength they all needed, she couldn’t show she was weak now.

                We caught up to her just as she was about to go up the steps and we both looped an arm through hers. She looked over at each one of us and smiled. I knew she wanted to cry but her eyes were dry. Her eyes were that crystal blue they always were but if it was possible they were even colder than normal.

                “Elsa you know you don’t have to shoulder this alone.” Jack said his concern showing as we walked through the door.

                “Jack now isn’t really a good time for a pep talk.” She said smiling but I could see the sadness behind it.

                “Elsa I’m just trying to say I’m here for you.” He said and she reached over and hugged him.

                 My heart ached for many reasons; a flare of jealousy went through me. I knew it was petty to feel this way. It was a simple hug and Elsa was his fiancé, but I couldn’t help but feel my hearts pitter patter beat slow and my heart crack a little. I closed my eyes and drew in a breath to calm myself down.

                _Get a grip Merida! It’s only a hug and Elsa needs all the support she can get right now._ I thought opening my eyes to see Jack looking at me a bit concerned. I gave him one of my best smiles and blew a strand of my hair out of my face. It had decided it would be a good time to have a mind of its own.

                ‘You okay?’ Jack mouthed and I just nodded even though I wasn’t.

                I wanted to be in his arms. I wanted to show I was sad too, but I knew I couldn’t. Not while Elsa was standing next to me. So I put on my game face and once Elsa let go of Jack I wrapped her in a bone crushing hug. She laughed and gasped for air. Her smile was back for a few moments until she looked at the castle and a gloom fell over her.

                Hiccup chose that moment to make his grand entry. Toothless landed right in front of Elsa and he reached a hand down to her. She looked shocked as I pushed her forward and Hiccup grabbed her, pulling her up onto toothless’ back. I didn’t care who saw her. She needed to get out of this place and she needed to be free for a few moments. She needed this.

                “Hiccup I can’t…” Elsa started but Hiccup cut her off.

                “Elsa you need this.” He said and took off into the sky.

                Jack and I watched them go and I sighed. It really was dreamy how Hiccup always swept in to save Elsa when she needed it most. He really cared for her and it was obvious. I let out a sigh and looked at Jack. His eyes reflected my thoughts.

                _How much longer can we keep this up?_ I thought as I took Jacks arm and we walked back into the castle.


End file.
